Here, let me get that for you!

I want the kids to be helpful around the house and grow a servant's heart for others, but this wasn't quite what I had in mind!  At least they are learning the importance of cleanliness!

A Stirring in my soul

I feel in my heart that God is doing something big.  I don't know what it all means, but all around me, people are standing up for their faith.  They are standing up and saying, "Yes, God! I will obey!" or "Send me! I will follow you to the ends of the earth." And yet, what do I do? I sit in my comfortable home with heat and clean water (though horribly chlorinated these days) and shed many tears as my heart aches to be one of those. And yet I still sit. I'm still and I don't use my voice.

God?  What are you leading me to do? Am I to be taken from the comforts of home and friends whom I have come to love so much to do your work elsewhere?  What does this all mean for our family?  Is there something here that I can do?  Oh how I hate to move my children again and uproot them.  And then... I read this post by Amy.  I worked at camp with her husband.  They are moving to Africa to be missionaries there. Her words in this post and many previous ones touch my heart so deeply, I cannot even begin to understand it all.  But when she says, "So I'm praying that God will help my mommy-heart to remember that it's ok if my kids aren't happy all the time. It's ok for them to dislike the food. It won't scar them for life if they have a tough time in school or if they miss their friends. God will take care of their hearts the same way he's taking care of mine, and they will ultimately be in His hands every moment, just like they are now. "  I am blown away.  It really IS okay for our kids to be out of their comfort zone and really? Their lives and hearts are in God's mighty hands, I just get to hold them for awhile.

God, my heart aches for you. To do YOUR will, not mine. I don't know where this is all leading, but I am excited! I am frightened and I am in awe of how you work in our hearts to follow you.

As the tears fall, Lord, please keep my heart open to you.

Living Without

There is a magazine called Living Without.  It is a magazine dedicated to those with food sensitivities and allergies.  Perfect for someone like me who is trying to live a more Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free life.

Even though I've mentioned the magazine, which I think is great... the name of the magazine is what caught my eye this morning.  Living Without. What does that really mean?  I found the tab open for the magazine, amongst my other 43 tabs and thought to myself that I really hold on to so much.

* I hold onto so many tabs on my browser, because I haven't had the time to look at them yet and if I bookmark them, maybe I will never come back to it.
* I hold onto magazines because there are so great articles, I don't want to forget about.
* I hold onto items that are filling up our garage, because we may need them someday. (no I am not a hoarder!) Realistic items!
* I hold onto clothes that no longer fit, but since I have been trying to get more healthy, the budget-wise person in me doesn't want to go through the process of buying a new wardrobe. The woman in me does, though! :)
* I even hold onto friendships that their season is dying out, but I'm holding on in hopes that it wont.  God gives us friendships.  They need to be nurtured and cared for. If one or both parties lets the ball drop, the season of that friendship starts to die out.  Sometimes you just need a break as you both are in the process of learning about yourself and then you eventually find your way back together, but sometimes not.  I have many such friendships that come back and some that haven't.  It is hard to feel like I am not a failure because those friends are no longer an integral part of my life.  But really, I know that God has something amazing in store for me, so I just count my blessings for the time I had with that person and learn to move on.  Holding on to that hope can eat at you!
* I hold onto the hope that someday I will be the woman God wants me to be, instead of being the woman He made me for right now. Still, working towards that other woman, but being content now is the key.
* I hold onto past hurts and angst, which need to be let go of as they do nothing but hinder me in my walk now.
* I sometimes hold onto my children too tightly.  They need to be free to explore and learn and grow, but this mommy wants just a few more snuggles or a few more years of this cute stage before they go off into the real world - like Kindergarten next year for Sweet Pea! Yikes!
* I hold onto the resources that we have. So many children and people out there need to be fed and clothed and yet I worry if my children are going to get "enough" at Christmas or have "the best" birthday party.  The woman in the blog doesn't think of herself, she thinks of those around her. What if I just let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect? Let go of my desire to fit into the right scenes or social circles and really focus on what is truly important?!

There are so many other things and ideas I hold onto, but need to let go of.  It's just scary to think what is around the next bend. I am reminded constantly of the scene in Finding Nemo when Dory and Marlin are inside the whale's stomach... 

Dory: He says, "It's time to let go!". Everything's going to be all right.

Marlin: How do you know, how do you know something bad isn't gonna happen?!

Dory: I don't!

I don't know what is going to happen next, but I have to trust God that He is in charge, not me! And He will lead me in the right way, even if I have to "let go" and be vulnerable. The next time you see me "holding on", feel free to gently remind me to let go. And if I'm not listening? You have my permission to smack me upside the head.

Here is to a new season! A new season of garage sales, friendships, an eventual new season of new clothes *yay*, a new season of letting my children explore more, a season of godly growth, of listening, obeying and carrying out His plans instead of holding them all to myself.  A new season of giving more. More time, more resources, more wisdom and letting go of the fears that holds me back.  Letting go of the stacks of papers and magazines that clutter up my home and my thoughts. I can Live Without so much if I just set my eyes and heart in the right places and focus on the important things. It is time to be real and focus on the important things that are laid ahead of me, not the ones I place in my path.

Proverbs 21: 2, 20-21 KJV
2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.
20 There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.
21 He that followeth after righteousness and mercy findeth life, righteousness, and honour.

Mobile Photo Shoot

Sweet Pea has had thing where he wants to wear "long" and "long". A long sleeve shirt and long pants.  It is a nightly struggle when it comes to pajama wearing, but lately it has been somewhat of a struggle during the day.  Our solution?  If his ears start to turn red or I feel sweat on him, he changes clothes to "short" and "short". So far, it has worked well and he knows that when we leave the house, that compromise is no longer valid. Mommy's rules.

So, today he decided he wanted to dress like daddy, which is not a new thing. Almost everyday he wants to wear a belt, just like daddy does!  It's cute, but sometimes the belt is tightened too much, so we're learning the difference between having it on and squeezing you in!

So, today, Sweet Pea and Monkey and I had a short photo shoot.  He wanted to see how handsome he was in pictures and Monkey... well, Monkey just wanted to be silly and be like her brother!  They LOVE having their picture taken!  I can't wait until I find my battery charger for our real camera and can take some better pictures! Until then, my phone will have to do!

He drew a picture of Monkey in her Minnie Mouse costume, which she put on between wardrobe changes for the photo shoot. 

 And this last one is of Monkey in the dress her Grams made her!

I love these kids!!

Happy Birthday America!!

We had a pretty relaxing Fourth of July holiday weekend.  While we accomplished a little bit around the house, we mostly just enjoyed each other's company.  I was still pretty sick, so we didn't go to any of the celebrations around town, but I mustered up enough strength to go to one of our local fireworks shows on Saturday night.  The kids enjoyed running around and seeing all of the big fireworks.  It was a very late night, but all in all, it was fun!

Happy Birthday America!!!

Mornings with Sweet Pea

I was holding Sweet Pea at the table and noticed once again how tall he has gotten. The boy is huge, I tell ya!

Me: You are getting so big!  You are so long!  Stop growing!  

Sweet Pea: I can't stop growing! I'm supposed to get bigger. So I can drive a car, run on the road, tell children to eat over their plate, not have crumbs in the living room and not to watch TV on Sundays.

Wow! Some things really stick with the guy, don't they?! 

Berry Picking!

In the fall, we took the kids apple picking. It was fun, but they weren't as into it as we wanted them to be were. Maybe they were a little too young to appreciate it, but I read other friend's blogs about how much fun their kids (same age) had.  So, maybe it just wasn't their cup of tea or something.

Last weekend, we decided to give the picking process another try and took the kids to go get strawberries. It's pretty much the end of strawberry season around here, but we thought we'd give it a try anyway.

We were able to get a few pounds of strawberries, but the kids just didn't seem to be enjoying themselves. They were hot, they were tired, they seemed hungry and thirsty.  So, The Hubster and I picked them and we took the scenic drive home.  Ho hum.  Maybe we'll try blueberries or peaches next?

I love picking fresh fruit from the farms!  Hopefully someday the kids will enjoy it as much as I do.  Until then, they'll just have to deal with me dragging them with me.  It's a learned process, right?

Can we go home now???

Complete silence can only mean one thing....

I am amazed that in the few minutes I ran to check my email, my two beautiful munchkins became very very quiet.  After getting sucked into sending a response, I noticed it was eerily quiet in the house.  Where were they?  Oh what a pleasant surprise to find them curled up together playing their Leapsters.  What a joy it is to have two kids that enjoy playing together and can find activities to keep themselves occupied!

Pure bliss!

Soccer!!!

I think I am more excited than Sweet Pea, but today, was his first soccer practice!  He was so cute with his little shinguards and cleats on, kicking his ball around!  When we first arrived, kept yelling, "Coach! Coach! I'm here!" as we were getting out of the car.  Monkey also wanted to join in the fun, so she and Sweet Pea picked up some new hats...  Aren't they cute?

Sweet Pea's team consists of about 6 kids ranging in ages of 4-6.  I hope when they play games against other teams, the 6 year olds don't bulldoze my kid!  He may be big for a 4 year old, but he's tiny compared to some of the other kids!

The weather was absolutely beautiful and perfect for soccer practice!  I can't wait for more practices and the games!  

Go Sweet Pea!!!

Finally!! Some SUN!!

Yesterday marked a very important day in our household.  Mommy (that's me) was not afraid to take the kids out to play.  *Gasp* I know!  I am not a big fan of the cold weather and my poor children have to suffer because I would rather not be out in it if I didn't have to be.  It could be 2 degrees out and they would want to run around.  Not me!  I'd prefer a nice breezy 78 degree day.  And no, that would not include humidity.  Poor kids, summer is around the corner and back inside I will want to go!  Someone... help me!!!

Anyway, since yesterday wasn't too bad, I put some sweatshirts on the kids and we bounded down the two steps out to the backyard.  We dug holes, kicked the balls around, played tag, found a worm,and just had a good time.  Here are some of the pictures of our activities...

 

What a fun day!